Have you ever read the first line of a book and you instantly have to know more? More about the stories, more about the character, MORE ABOUT EVERYTHING?! Well, you’re about to.
- 3 days ago
- 4 days ago
…Then we have JUST THE THING FOR YOU.
This Monday at the Main Library, we’ll have students just like you who have created their own comic book series…and they’ll give you tips on how you can get started, too!
Sound good? To sign up, all you need to do is call 419.521.3110. After that, all you have to do is show up this Monday, and get ready for comic greatness… :)
We need a little summer, you guys. Right this very second. Especially when you look outside, or hear the weather report for this weekend (apparently, from Chicago to NYC—including all of us in the “in between” can expect A GIANT STORM WITH ALL THE SNOW. ALL OF IT.)
So…we need a little summer. Sarah Dessen can help, I’ll bet.
…That’s why we’re our “First Line” is from Sarah’s latest book, The Moon and More. It’s short, it’s sweet, and we promise it’ll make you want more:
…Think summery thoughts, you guys. We’ll need them!
- 1 week ago
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL
This happened to me when my diabetes was misdiagnosed as type 2 when really I had a form of type 1. The misdiagnosis meant I needed insulin but my doctor didn’t prescribe it. After about a year of thinking I was type 2 and thinking I could/should be able to control it with diet and exercise, I developed an eating disorder that involved me limiting my food intake to a very small subset and trying to eliminate an entire macronutrient. I lost a bunch of weight and my blood sugar got in control for awhile and I thought I’d outsmarted my disease and everything else about my body.
Then, no matter what I did I couldn’t control my blood sugar. My body couldn’t use the nutrients it was taking in so it started digesting itself.
I got very thin for me and got a lot of compliments. And I liked it. It felt great to buy size 2 clothes. I liked feeling my kneebones lay against each other in bed. I liked being small and not taking up much space. Especially in a career that is somewhat public, I preferred standing in front of crowds thinking they were thinking how small I was over my previous experience of standing in front of crowds thinking they were thinking how fat I was.
Meanwhile, I was up 4-5 times every night to pee because my blood sugar was so high. I had painful cramps in my legs and toes every morning at about 4 a.m., possible early symptoms of neuropathy or kidney disease or maybe just malnourishment. I tried not to think about retinopathy and my feet falling off. I was very unwell, physically and mentally. But I loved being thin.
When I got some more tests and got the right diagnosis, I started injecting insulin. Immediately, I put on weight because now my body could actually use and store the energy I was eating. I got very anxious. So anxious and insane that I was getting up at 2 a.m. to weigh myself and try on clothes. That was a bad time.
I’m not that anxious anymore, but it’s still hard to accept the weight gain that has come with both taking care of my diabetes and taking care of my mental health. I’ve gained about 35 pounds since starting insulin plus trying not to succumb to my old orthorexia. My battle against that has involved a period of being strict with myself about not being strict with myself. I actively disallow myself to read information about weight loss and nutrition. If I start thinking about trying some new diet, I tell myself no. Or I dabble, then I binge, and remind myself why I have to stay out of that territory.
Sometimes I feel a lot of shame about the weight gain. I sometimes don’t link to stories or interviews with me because I hate the video or pictures that go with it. I sometimes don’t want to go out to mix and mingle with colleagues because I know I’ve gained weight since last time they saw me and I fear judgment.
I try to remind myself how much healthier I am now. That the weight I am right now is partly a symptom of me working to protect my organs and nerves and vision and limbs. I still have my compulsive eating disorder from way back, and if I have active episodes of that, I take enough insulin to avoid dangerously high blood sugars, then the insulin makes my body very efficient at storing the excess calories and I gain. I remind myself that’s better than developing diabulimia (a thing where diabetics intentionally don’t take insulin so they can lose weight, but also they might DIE).
If I’m feeling judgment from myself or others about my weight I try to remind myself that I’m healthier now than I was when I was thin. At the same time, I’m looking for a balance of self-care. Self-care and eating disorder recovery looks different for a diabetic than for other people. We can’t really do the “free intuitive eating no restrictions” method. It’s really hard sometimes to deal with it all. Really hard. I don’t talk about it much and I don’t think about it much but sometimes I just have a meltdown and knowing I’ll never not have this disease feels utterly crushing.
I just want to have the best quality of life I can for as long as I can, and with my body and my issues and my diseases, sometimes that’s going to mean being bigger than I want to be or than other people think I should be. Shame about that isn’t going to contribute much to “best quality” goal. So I do my best, and try not to let myself be made to feel by me or anyone else that it’s not enough.
…Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES.Source: inkmurder
- 2 weeks ago